There are folks in my life who seem preoccupied with my finding Mr. Right. Though I appreciate their concern, I’m curious. When I’m clearly happy doing what I’m doing and living my life why are they so vexed by my continued single status? For the exception of not finding a new job (looking only because of wanting more money) and buying a house, I’m really pretty much happy as a pig in cool mud. Why? How is that possible…there’s no man in my life? Well, here’s some of the reasons I'm so happy;
· I have a job that, though it doesn’t pay a boat load of money, it’s a heck of a lot more than I used to make and for both of those things, I am thankful. 9 days out of 10 I love going to work, have fun doing what I do, and I enjoy the people I work with.
· I have a car that I love!! It’s in my name and I pay for it. The Dixie Pixie (yes, I’ve named my car) gets amazing gas mileage and looks great to boot! I road trip it with a couple of friends to concerts when the mood and event suit me/us. It’s usually an average 4 hour drive and a cost about $50 each including gas, hotel, tickets and food. True, of late the road trips usually involve going to see Jimmy Wayne, Bucky Covington, Jason Michael Carroll, next month we’re adding Billy Currington to the list and I'm waiting for Joe Nichols to hit the road again (memories and images of shows past, shows to come…someone pass me a bib, a fan and a glass of ice water ). We have a ball and the lion’s share of the fun happens on the way to and from. As it turns out, the shows are just an excuse.
· One of the above mentioned shows I was supposed to be accompanied by a cousin who couldn’t make it and instead of backing out entirely, I went solo and made some great friends that I actually have contact with, if not every day then at least a few times a week. Not just email, online, MySpace, etc, we actually have conversations that don’t require a keyboard and revolve around something other than the shows we’ve been to, are going to, or the people we’ve gone to see. Shocking, I know, but it’s true!
· I AM SINGLE! I come and go as I please, I don’t have to ask permission/clear it with someone to go somewhere, do something, buy something, or make plans. All I really need to worry about is making the room in my budget and/or getting the day off. If that’s done, I am good to go!
· I don’t have to worry about being with someone who shows me blatant disrespect, talks to or treats me like a second class citizen or berates me for what I do or what he thinks I should be doing.
· I have a crown that I made for myself because I deserved it. According to “THE Sweet Potato Queen” Jill Conner Brown – and I have no reason to doubt her -- every woman deserves a crown. You can buy one, but then you run the risk of someone that you don’t know or, even worse, someone you don’t like, having one like yours. Do what I did…get the stuff and make it your ownself. Then you can be sure that unless you make one for someone else, you’ll have the only one like it. Just like a smile on your face -- if you don’t have a crown it’s your own fault.
For as long as I can remember, people who love me have busied themselves with me having or getting a husband or why I didn’t have a boyfriend or husband to the point of once even signing me up for…wait for it…a dating service! I’m sure all the talk about me finding Mr. Right is rooted in a desire for me to be happy, but why is my getting married such a big deal for them? Would I like to have “someone”? Yeah, sure, I don’t think anyone aspires to be single forever, but having a man attached to me has never been the end all/be all of my life and probably never will be. To be honest, when I look at the men I meet as well as the past and present husbands/boyfriends of some of the folks who are constantly telling me to find Mr. Right, I think I’d rather be single than have to deal with some of the crap I see or have to put up with what they’ve been through. I know all men aren’t pigs or punks, but let me tell you, the pickings are mighty slim and mostly what I’ve encountered is what the wise and wonderful Prothro would call “chofer lips”.
Maureen Dowd, an op-ed write for the New York Times (I can’t believe I’m quoting a writer from the NYT) said “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” Well, I’m 36 years old and I refuse to do something life changing simply because it’s expected. To me, that would be settling. I came close to it before and I don't plan to do it again. I didn’t, and won’t get married because it’s what I'm supposed to do by a certain age, to get out of the house or any other reason except because it’s what I want, because in my mind, that would be settling.
Maybe I sound selfish, self-centered or something else of that nature, but the fact of the matter is that the most important thing is that right now, for me anyway, is that I‘m happy with the way things are. I do thank you for your love and concern for my happiness and if you love me as much as I know you do, you should be tickled pink that I’m as happy as I am and be just as happy for me. When I stop being happy, rest assured…then I’ll do something about it. Until then worry not, loved ones, I am just fine!
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