Has anyone else seen the photos and article in the November issue of Glamour magazine? If you haven’t here’s the link...go NOW! http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/about/body-image I cannot tell you how happy I am to see these photos and read the article! It’s probably the first time I can remember seeing women in a “mainstream” magazine that I could physically relate to. I am 36 yrs old, 5’10, wear an 18/20 and weigh 235 pounds. I’ve been always been an outgoing chick and never thought that my weight or size held me back. Yes, I knew it wasn’t totally healthy to be overweight, but I was always happy with myself, never felt unattractive. I’ve always been comfortable in my own skin. I know other women who weren’t (and still aren’t) as comfortable. I can’t take credit for this attitude; I was one of the luckiest girls in the world. Mama who's always thought I was fabulous, an Aunt who thought I was beautiful and a Granny who thought I was as strong has her Mama. How did I know these things? Because they never missed the opportunity to tell me. Yeah, I was one lucky girl!
I won’t get on a soapbox about how the fashion industry and Hollywood have distorted the idea of what women are supposed to look like and created body image issues for generations of women. That road has been taken so many times the pavement’s worn out. Yes, they do bear a good part of the blame, but you can’t lay all of the blame on magazines, the movies, models, fashion or anyone else. It’s your body, no one else’s. There comes a time when you have to be accountable for your actions and behavior. Unless you have a medical condition, the only person who is responsible for you being overweight and out of shape is you. You’ve got two choices; 1) Change it. Jill Conner Brown (THE Sweet Potato Queen) said "If you aren't loving life, change it," and to me that means ANY aspect 2). Deal with it. Stop complaining, stop blaming. Own your life and all that it entails. If you're happy with yourself and your life and you're basicly healthy, to hell with any and everyone else and their opinions.
I’ve been overweight since I was about 10 yrs old. The pictures and video from Mama & Pop’s wedding that year, I looked like I was smuggling basketballs! When I was real little, I was such a picky eater and I guess they were so happy I was eating, they didn’t think there was a problem. By the time we all realized I was fat (I’m not scared of the word), I was old enough to do something about it myself and I tried...sort of. I have been on all kinds of crazy diets; when I was about 14 two cousins and I decided to go on the diet they put patients on before heart surgery! I lasted all of 1 day...could not stomach the beets or the tuna. I’ve counted fat, calories, carbs, portions you name it. I’ve drank teas, taken prescription diet pills, OTC diet pills, you name it. I’d lose weight but I’d abandon the diet not because I wasn’t dropping pounds but just because I wasn't dropping them fast enough, I was lazy and it wasn’t that big of a deal to me. I liked myself, I was happy with my life the weight wasn’t really in the way so why make myself crazy. Well, in Oct. of 2008 it became a big deal.
I’d gotten bronchitis again and started popping all kinds of OTC cold meds. When it didn’t work I finally gave up and went to the doctor where my blood pressure was sky high and at 273, my weight was higher than it’s ever been in my life! Knowing the history of heart disease and strokes on Mama’s side of the family, the blood pressure scared me big time, but the nurse said that was probably because of the cold meds. I went back a week later and it was a little high (a couple of points) but nothing to worry about. But the weight was still a health issue. Maybe because I was 35 – just 5 months from my 36th birthday – I realized that if I didn’t do something now, I was in serious trouble. I knew something had to change, but I also knew from past experience that pills and fad diets were not the path for me.
First I had to eat right. The couple of bags of chips, you know the ones that say on the label that it’s actually 3 servings – I snacked on at work had to stop. I had to start exercising and walking to the elevator did not count. Eating as much or more than my Pop at dinner was not a good thing. When I thought about everything I had to change I was totally discouraged. There was no way in the world I was gonna do that. What did I do? Get a pint of mint-chocolate chip ice cream and settle in to watch an old movie. There on my television was one of the most beautiful women EVER and one that I’d always wanted to look like – Rita Hayworth. There she was; driving Glenn Ford insane, singing and dancing in “the black” dress...mocking me and my ice cream. Then I had an epiphany...who said I had to change everything at once? Where is it written?
So once I was sure I wasn’t going to die of consumption (still fighting bronchitis), I put the ice cream in the freezer and decided to use yogurt to feed a craving for something sweet. I switched the Doritos for Sun Chips or pretzels. A couple of weeks later, I started eating a kinda-sorta breakfast burrito instead of cereal or leftovers. Then I changed from the frozen lunches I was eating (actually, eating 2 for lunch) to soups. Next step was abandoning the “at work” snacks. That was easier than I thought.
New Year’s Day I got on the scales – I hadn’t even looked at scales since I left the doctor’s office that day in mid-October – and I was 265. That’s the day I started walking. Barely half a mile later and I thought, no, I was sure that my lungs were going to explode, my legs were going to fall off, I was going to die and they could bury me where I dropped. A few weeks later, I added weights and crunches. Did I exercise every day? No, but at least 3 days a week I did something. (I haven't been as) dedicated lately) I took the stairs at work. If I had something for someone, I didn’t use interoffice mail I walked it over to them. Before I knew it, clothes were fitting looser. Pants that I had been wearing comfortably required a belt. I’d bought a pair of jeans for a concert the first week of November. They were a 22 and they fit perfect! I put them on one Saturday afternoon...and they were baggy! BAGGY! I could put them in the dryer and they’d be good for a few hours and after a few months, even that didn’t work. They would literally fall down about mid-hip. I haven’t been able to wear them – even with a belt since July. The last jeans I bought were 18’s. I always envied my Granny because the woman could drop weight simply by deciding to do so and it looks like I may be more like her than I thought.
This is just the first blog here. I’m going to post my “progress” (maybe with pictures) as I go. I don’t have a goal weight, however, I’ve got a pair of 38/32 men’s Wrangler’s hanging up in my bedroom as inspiration. I used to joke that if I got smaller than a size 16, I’d move into Jimmy’s (it’s a 50+ yr old diner here in town) until I got back, but the closer I get, the more I think I might have to reevaluate. I don’t wanna be skinny, not by any stretch of the imagination. I never have. I guess that’s because when I was growing up, I didn’t wanna look like a supermodel. The women I thought were the most beautiful; the ones I wanted to look like weren’t on a runway. I wanted to look like Susan Seaforth Hayes, Suzanne Rogers and Deidra Hall from Days of Our Lives, Rita Hayworth in Gilda, and Jane Russell in anything. Yes, they are women two and three generations before me, but they were gorgeous. They didn’t look like boys or pre-pubescent girls...they looked like women and they had curves for God’s sake!
Do I think that only “real women have curves”? No. And if you do, you’re just as out of your mind as all of those people who think that skinny or thin is "always" healthy. Every woman, every person, is different and will not fit into the same mold. To think so is insane. I’ve lost almost 40 pounds since this time last year because I finally decided to stop dieting and focus on getting healthy instead of losing weight, and that's what I should have done all along. As long as you’re healthy and happy with yourself, the number on the scales or the tag in your clothes shouldn’t matter. Trisha Yearwood released a song a few years back called "Real Live Woman" and the lyrics are...well...perfect. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cn9d8Xi_Cw
REAL LIVE WOMAN (Trisha Yearwood)
I don't buy the lines in magazines
That tell me what I've gotta be
Don't base my life on a movie screen
Don't fit the mold society
Has Planned
I don't need to be 19 years old
Or starve myself for some weight I'm told
Will turn men's heads, been down that road
And I thank God I finally know
Just who I am
I ain't a movie star
May never see the view from where they are
And this old town may be as far as I'm goin'
But what he'll hold tonight in his hands
He swears is so much better than
Anything this old world
Can show him
Cause I'm a real live woman
In love with this man I see lyin' here next to me
Lost in the way that he's holdin'
This real live woman
In the arms of a man where
I'll fall asleep knowin' there's
Nothin' on earth he loves more than
This real live woman
I work 9-5 and I can't relate
To millionaires who somehow fate
Has smiled upon and fortune made their
Common lives a better place to be
Cause I'm a real live woman
In love with this man I see lyin' here next to me
Lost in the way that he's holdin'
This real live woman
In the arms of a man where
I'll fall asleep knowin' there's
Nothin' on earth he loves more than
This real live woman
And I no longer justify
Reasons for the way that I behave
I offer no apologies
For the things that I believe and say
And I like it that way
Cause I'm a real live woman
In love with this man I see lyin' here next to me
Lost in the way that he's holdin'
This real live woman
In the arms of a man where
I'll fall asleep knowin' there's
Nothin' on earth he loves more than
This real live woman
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