Bullying

I can’t get over the fact that via Twitter “The Talk” (a CBS talk show) brought up the topic of suing a bully? That makes NO SENSE! You know what that teaches the kids involved? You solve problems with lawyers & if you do something wrong you can pretty much just pay someone damages & move on to the next. Have I ever been bullied? A little in the 1st grade; I cried all the time because all I wanted to do was go home & watch Days of Our Lives with my Granny & kids being kids, picked on & made fun of me.  One day this kid was really coming at me hard & I was just standing there crying… I had a friend who stood up for me but he wasn’t there so except for the kid teasing me & his buddies, I was by myself. Then he poked me…the little snot poked me! Next thing I knew I’d tackled him & was just swinging away like a crazy woman! The PE teacher pulled me off & asked what happened so I told her. That was the last time I got picked on or bullied.

But my sister (actually my cousin but we’re waaay more like sisters), that’s another story. We were both fat kids – sorry the PC term is overweight – and she got it bad! Fourth grade was the worst; she’d tell the teacher and because she didn’t see anything there was nothing she could/would do. I got involved in it & had a few rounds taking care of her, but they persisted. Mama & my aunt talked to the teacher & principal & he said the same thing. Forget the fact that she had bruises from being pinched, kicked, hit & even bitten there was nothing they could do. My Mama – being the Southern Spitfire she is, told my cousin in front of the teacher AND the principal that the next time a kid put their hands, feet or mouth on her she was to “knock home sweet hell out of them”. Needless to say Mr. Cain & Ms. Dudley were appalled. The next time a kid pinched a plug out of her arm, she did just what Mama told her…and for the most part, that put an end to it.

Kids today aren’t being taught to defend themselves. Should the first step be to tell a teacher/parent? Absolutely, no question. But teach them to stand up for themselves so that if they’re alone they feel strong enough to protect themselves and if necessary, someone else. I promise you – and I speak from personal experience, if you’re concerned about your child’s self-esteem this will go a long way to strengthen their self-esteem.  When we teach children, “Don’t stand up and don’t fight back…” we end up with a society of adults with the “poor, poor pitiful me” mindset who believe everyone should fight their battles for them.

Make no mistake; bullying is a problem now and it has always been a problem. Mama & my uncle were teased & bullied for being redheads with freckles, Sis caught it for being overweight & shy and unfortunately, as long as kids are different from each other & as long as there are cliques, there’s going to be teasing & bullying. The net and things like Facebook & Twitter have made it worse because now you don’t even have to be in the same room, school or even city.

My Granny always told us that fighting wasn’t right but if you had to defend yourself go ahead. Her #1 rule; no matter what fight fair…but when someone hits you that ain’t fair. The bottom line (in my opinion anyway) is that parents need to teach their kids respect; respect others enough NOT to bully & tease someone and respect themselves enough not to put up with it.

Saving Soaps

I can’t decide if this is a blog or a big ‘ole thank you/love note to Ken Corday, Marlene Clark Poulter, Darrell Ray Thomas, Jr, Frank Valentini and Ron Carlivati but either way here I go.

I’ve grown up watching soaps; Mama & Granny watched the first episode of Days of Our Lives & my older cousin was so completely swept up in the romance & adventure of Luke & Laura that she just knew I was going to grow up to look just like Genie Francis (FYI: I didn’t). One by one I watched as my soaps like The Doctors, Another World & Santa Barbara were cancelled, but I never thought I see the day when soaps were in danger of being a thing of the past. When I heard that All My Children and One Life To Live were being cancelled, I was in shock. I never watch them but I knew how the fans felt and as a fan of the genre my heart broke.

I shouldn’t have been surprised though. I can't speak to AMC or OLTL, but both of the soaps I watch had become so predictable. The dialog was stale and the storylines had become boring enough that I’d fast forward through chunks of it. The heroes barely caught my eye and only true villains like Stefano & Helena kept my attention. There are certain actors I love and no matter what the storyline, I’m going to stop what I’m doing and watch. I’d unhappily settled into the realization that Days & GH had become background noise to have on while I was getting ready for work or eating lunch.

I’d pretty much decided to give up on GH. With less than 20 yrs., I didn’t have as much time invested. There were characters/actors I’d miss but I was getting fed up; too much mob & not enough of…well, anything else. It seemed everything & everyone had a mob connection. Yes, I know the mob has been a factor in Port Charles for a long time but it was “A” factor not “THE” factor. Then there was the whole James Franco thing. It was intriguing at first, thing sent me right over the edge. There was a rumor of a new Cassadine story…they even laid the groundwork with Helena’s conversations with Nicholas and Luke rescuing her, but pushed it aside in favor of the Franco “story”. The show was on a slow painful decent into Hell.

Even though I had all but given up on GH, as a 3rd generation fan, I never imagined I'd be willing to let go of Days...until it happened. What was the final straw? The death of Francis Reid and the character she’d played for more than 40 years Alice Horton. It was treated as merely another way to move from one plot to another. At least I felt that way. Where were the flashbacks? The beautiful memory filled funeral? The former cast members coming back to pay their respects like when Mickey died? There was some but not nearly what I – and other fans – felt due. After a lifetime of watching Days of Our Lives, I was seriously considering giving up.

I don’t know if it was low ratings, fan complaints, the cancellation of two of most beloved & recognized soaps in history or a combination of the three, but something shook the networks. New producers and writers were brought on board to Days & GH and boy did they make changes!! Both took a Back to the Future approach. They brought back fan favorites -- something that had been done before and wasted (the blatant misuse of Louise Sorrell on Days still sickens me) but this time it felt like the new teams were serious about saving their respective soaps. The writing is strong. The constant repeating of dialog to fill time…I mean…to catch people up…was gone. Plot twists and cliffhangers…real cliffhangers …were back. I kid you not, even a few daily cliffhangers! More than once in the last few months I’ve caught myself happily saying “I didn’t see that coming!”

Some characters were eliminated and new characters were brought on that actually moved the story. There are some characters & actors that I’ll miss, Nathan Parsons & Bren Foster come to mind. There was a lot of potential (can you just imagine the sparks between Bren Foster & Lisa Rinna) but the way their exit was written they can be brought back & hopefully will be. Kimberly McCullough wanted to leave but in true soap fashion, even though we all sat and sobbed through the funeral, the door is open.

The new writers & producers are respecting and using the history of the shows instead of ignoring it. Instead of changing characters (sometimes not even that) and recycling a recent story, they're telling fresh ones, and they're not dragging them out. A storyline that even last year would have ran at best 6 or 8 months is being played out in half that time! All of that being said, I’m still reserving judgment; we’ve seen changes & updates before but after a few months they fall back into the same craptastic patterns so I’m not going to get crazy excited. But as a fan of these two soaps and the genre in general, I really hope these changes “take”. As silly as it may sound to some, I can’t, and don’t want to, imagine life without soaps.