Reality shows are the worst thing to happen to television EVER! I won’t say that I don’t watch reality shows, but usually only if something/someone catches my eye. I watch Dancing with the Stars if there’s someone on there I like (as far as I’m concerned, do-overs to sooth a bruised male ego do not count and Kelly Monaco is and always will be the first DWTS champ and Laila Ali was robbed!) and Survivor after the merge. Unless there’s a really hot guy (Boo Bernis from Fiji comes to mind), then I’m all in. Yes, I’m shallow, but not about important things.
In my opinion, one of the worst of them all has to be the Bachelor/Bachelorette. I’ve watched one episode of The Bachelor and I’ve never watched an episode of The Bachelorette. I could not believe that I was watching these women cry in front of the camera for millions of people to watch, talk about how they’re looking for true love and companionship, who honestly think they can find it in this venue and end up sobbing and miserable when a virtual stranger doesn’t give them a rose. I refuse to blame men, the public, or anyone else for women embarrassing themselves like this and allowing a man to pick them like cattle at auction or a sandwich in a cafeteria line. Don’t they have any pride? Are they so desperate for a man that they humiliate themselves like this?
What does it say about the people who make it appointment viewing? I read somewhere that this highest demographic that watches The Bachelor/Bachelorette is women! My question to them is this; do you enjoy watching other women humiliate themselves? Why? Do you actually think that you can find “twuue wuuve” under these circumstances? Look, I read Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, etc when I was a kid, those were fairy tales. How many marriages have come from these shows? One I think. It’s like the stories of young women who became hookers after watching Pretty Woman because they actually thought they’d find a man like the Richard Gere character who’d “save them”.
Now there’s another show in this vein – More to Love. I know some folks are all excited about this because it’s about plus sized/real sized women, but I don’t think having a dating show about big chicks is necessarily a great thing. It’s only putting them into the same self-demeaning light as every other woman who puts herself on one of these shows. They were acting just like the "skinny girls" on The Bachelor -- crying and all but begging this guy to notice them. When the first five were sent home on the first episode, one girl was sobbing because she felt such a stong connection and knew she could really fall in love with him. WHAT? You just met him! You spent maybe 3 hours in the same room with him and like 15 other women? How can you know you could fall in love with him? I guess the only thing more “entertaining” that watching skinny beautiful women debasing themselves is watching overweight beautiful women do the same. I watched the first episode and was so embarrassed for these women. There were a couple of the women on the show who didn’t come across as so desperate to get a man they’d do just about anything, but I’m guessing that will soon change or they won’t “get the ring back”. In the spirit of full disclosure, I am plus-size, full-size, real-size, BBW, whatever you want to call it. I am about 5’10, weight 240 pounds (down 25 pounds/almost 3 sizes since November) and wear a size 18/20. There were women on this show who were both bigger and smaller than me. I’m comfortable enough with myself that on occasion, I call myself a big-ol-girl and even .. a fat-chick! Mama calls me her farm hand and Amazon.
Yes, dating is harder for women who aren’t “typical”. Basically, if you’re considered overweight, for the most part, you can cast your line in the Lake of Love, and you’re gonna get very few nibbles. The stereotype of an overweight girl/ woman desperate for a boyfriend/husband is prevalent enough do we really need a show like this to make it worse?
Now I’ve never thought of myself as a feminist, but maybe in some ways I am. There is no logical reason why men and women shouldn’t be treated equally in pay, rights and responsibilities. To state that in 2009 seems kind of ludicrous, but I’ve become surprised lately. If I do the same job as a man, have the same educational background and experience, I should get paid the same. Even though my personal beliefs are completely against it, I believe that Roe-v-Wade should stand. I am perfectly capable of taking out my own garbage, killing bugs (for the exception of one that will cause me to do harm to myself trying to get away), moving something, hanging something, changing a tire, and pumping my own gas. I’ve even hung blinds, fixed a sink AND a toilet. All of that having been said, if there’s a man around, I’m going to see if I can get him to do it first! I (and other women my age) tend take for granted some things that generations of women had to fight for; the right to own property, birth control, education, and, the one I feel is most important, the right to vote. I guess you could say I’m a kinda-sorta Feminist...or is that like being a little pregnant?
I don’t have a boyfriend (that sounds so jr. high ). I’d like to have one (that sounds even more jr. high ), but as I've said before, it’s not the prime directive of my existence. Maybe I’m too picky. I've been told by several people who know me that I am Shakespeare’s Beatrice (Much Ado About Nothing), and I take that as a compliment. We watched the movie this weekend and it’s even more obvious now than then! Maybe I have too much pride, but I just can’t imagine myself going on national television and having the man that, in theory, I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, chose me playground style! I would rather spend the rest of my life single than to do that!
My grandmother and all but one of her sisters were born without the right to vote. I can’t imagine that! My point is (yes, there is one) is that in the almost 90 years since women were given the right to vote, we have gotten to the point in front of millions for their entertainment, we will grovel for the attention of a man? What are shows like these teaching our daughters – or our sons for that matter – about love and relationships?
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