A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues. -- Cicero
I’m starting this in the surgical waiting room. In April, Mama had a hernia (that she got when she had her AAA surgery done) repaired because apparently, it slipped. They’re fixing it now & Mama has promised me she’s gonna take it easy this time. We do not want a repeat of this. This time last year I was pet free, but found a tiny little kitten New Year’s Day & she had 3 kittens in May. The plan was to find them homes, but by the time they got old enough….now we have 4 cats.
I can’t believe the year is over...where did it go? Don’t you hate it when you get to a point on a calendar – end of the year, your birthday, etc – and wonder what happened? It’s like I went to bed, woke up and BAM it’s over. Maybe I’m just getting older & I “feel” it more.
I’ve had a few realizations of 2010: I realized early in the year that a co-worker who I thought had my back (because she said she would) clearly didn’t & quickly threw me under the bus. The last year I’ve lost contact with some folks. I understand that life can get hectic, but in spite of phone calls, voice mails & emails, I’ve heard nothing since April & that was the first time since September ‘09.
Also, I discovered that there are some people that even though they were an important part of my life, apparently, I’m not a big enough of a blip on their radar to rate a “hello” at Wal-Mart. I know they saw me because they made eye contact & turned around. To those folks…have a nice life. I wish you nothing but joy and good luck in all you seek. Yes you’re my family and I love you dearly, but I will not chase you down (literally or figuratively) to get you to love me or want me in your life. All that does is waste time & energy and when I finally realize that it did me no good, I’m both mad and hurt (believe me, I’ve done it). I have a big family that loves me, friends who think know I’m crazy and they love me anyway…and I’ve still got the feathers to prove it. There’s a line in “Stand By Me” “Friends come in and out of your life like busboys in a restaurant.” and I’ve always known this but when it’s family members, it kind of takes you by surprise…or it did me anyway.
He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.-- Epictetus
Ok, done with the small & potentially negative stuff; onto the biggest & best realization of all. I am one lucky chick. Why? Well unlike so many in the country I have a job. I’m not real happy right now, I haven’t gotten a raise of any kids (even cost of living) in 4 years and as far as I know it ends in June. But I have a job. Even though I’ve still got a way to go before I’m at my weight loss goal, I’m healthy. My family is, for the most part, healthier. In September 2009 Mama had surgery to fix/remove an Abdominal Aortic Aneurism that could have killed her. This time last year she was on the backside of recovering from that.
Aunt Annie (next to Mama my favorite person in the whole world) was on oxygen 24-7 as a result of a major heart attack & bypass surgery in ’05. They told her that she’d need it for a a little while, but it had been 5 years! She did what she wanted but had to haul that O2 bottle everywhere she went. In the year or so she developed a tumor & in the spring they removed it & guess what? No more 24-7 oxygen! It seems that the tumor was in the “right spot” and as it grew bigger & bigger, it pressed against her lung and restricted her breathing. Now, if you want her, just call her cell phone because she won’t be home to answer the land line. I love it! Growing up the most important people to me weren’t my friends, it was my family and in particular my old ladies. Now that they’re all gone, I have The Aunts...Aunt Annie, Aunt Elvia, etc. If The Aunts makes you think of the movie Practical Magic, there’s a reason. I’ll have to tell ya’ll the story of “The Naked Man in Biloxi” sometime….it puts my rooster story to shame!
Like I said, I am so lucky and thankful to have the people in my life that I have, that love me as much as I love them. Too lucky and thankful to concern myself with the ones who aren't concerned with me.
Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.-- Oprah Winfrey
I so understand where you are coming from....I am the loyal friend..the one to keep in touch...they are never there unless they need something...but..I do have friends that are caring and appreciate my friendship...but the ones who aren't..well it's hard to forget that pain...I try to remember God sends people in and out of our lives at the right time when we need them..and if you look back at the people we have lost touch with..it's true..I may not of made it w/out them...I just hope I left a stamp on their heart too!
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