Bullying

I can’t get over the fact that via Twitter “The Talk” (a CBS talk show) brought up the topic of suing a bully? That makes NO SENSE! You know what that teaches the kids involved? You solve problems with lawyers & if you do something wrong you can pretty much just pay someone damages & move on to the next. Have I ever been bullied? A little in the 1st grade; I cried all the time because all I wanted to do was go home & watch Days of Our Lives with my Granny & kids being kids, picked on & made fun of me.  One day this kid was really coming at me hard & I was just standing there crying… I had a friend who stood up for me but he wasn’t there so except for the kid teasing me & his buddies, I was by myself. Then he poked me…the little snot poked me! Next thing I knew I’d tackled him & was just swinging away like a crazy woman! The PE teacher pulled me off & asked what happened so I told her. That was the last time I got picked on or bullied.

But my sister (actually my cousin but we’re waaay more like sisters), that’s another story. We were both fat kids – sorry the PC term is overweight – and she got it bad! Fourth grade was the worst; she’d tell the teacher and because she didn’t see anything there was nothing she could/would do. I got involved in it & had a few rounds taking care of her, but they persisted. Mama & my aunt talked to the teacher & principal & he said the same thing. Forget the fact that she had bruises from being pinched, kicked, hit & even bitten there was nothing they could do. My Mama – being the Southern Spitfire she is, told my cousin in front of the teacher AND the principal that the next time a kid put their hands, feet or mouth on her she was to “knock home sweet hell out of them”. Needless to say Mr. Cain & Ms. Dudley were appalled. The next time a kid pinched a plug out of her arm, she did just what Mama told her…and for the most part, that put an end to it.

Kids today aren’t being taught to defend themselves. Should the first step be to tell a teacher/parent? Absolutely, no question. But teach them to stand up for themselves so that if they’re alone they feel strong enough to protect themselves and if necessary, someone else. I promise you – and I speak from personal experience, if you’re concerned about your child’s self-esteem this will go a long way to strengthen their self-esteem.  When we teach children, “Don’t stand up and don’t fight back…” we end up with a society of adults with the “poor, poor pitiful me” mindset who believe everyone should fight their battles for them.

Make no mistake; bullying is a problem now and it has always been a problem. Mama & my uncle were teased & bullied for being redheads with freckles, Sis caught it for being overweight & shy and unfortunately, as long as kids are different from each other & as long as there are cliques, there’s going to be teasing & bullying. The net and things like Facebook & Twitter have made it worse because now you don’t even have to be in the same room, school or even city.

My Granny always told us that fighting wasn’t right but if you had to defend yourself go ahead. Her #1 rule; no matter what fight fair…but when someone hits you that ain’t fair. The bottom line (in my opinion anyway) is that parents need to teach their kids respect; respect others enough NOT to bully & tease someone and respect themselves enough not to put up with it.