Kentucky Woman (Sorry Neil Diamond)

I think I have multiple personality disorder because I'm hearing voices.  One voice in my head saying "You know you're strolling into a minefield, don’t do it, back away slowly.” Then another is saying “Go ahead. Not pointing it out is killing you. Your head is about to explode.” If know me, you know the struggle. I’m fighting it…truly I am…oh never mind.

First of all; those who oppose the ruling regarding same sex marriage saying that SCOTUS had no right…what about the SCOTUS decision regarding Hobby Lobby & Affordable Care Act/ObamaCare in 2014? This is not a one way street…if they had the authority to rule in agreement with your opinion; they also have the authority to rule in opposition of your opinion.

I’m not going to say that I know all of the details but from what I’ve read & seen (different news sources), but here is my opinion. Kim Davis has a right to her opinion, her beliefs and to practice whatever Faith she wants. However, as an elected official she had a job to do & she didn’t do it. If she couldn’t do it, she should have quit/resigned. I can understand why she didn’t…I’d have a hard time leaving an $80,000 a year job myself. Before you call her a hypocrite because of her multiple marriages, etc, as a Christian, when she was Saved, her past sins were forgiven. (That may not be your beliefs, but it is hers.) Kim Davis wasn’t put in jail because she was a Christian.  She was put in jail because she defied a court order. She may not agree with it, but her job required her to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples. That’s her job. There is a Muslim flight attendant, Charee Stanley, who was suspended for refusing to serve alcohol and she may be fired. That’s her job. Yes, she was able to shift it to other flight attendants but apparently another flight attendant took issue with it and filed a complaint. She has been suspended and may be fired because she didn’t do her job. Kim Davis couldn’t be fired because she was elected – she’d have to be impeached. If Ms. Davis is  allowed to choose which of her job duties she will or will not execute based on her religion, shy shouldn’t Ms. Stanley be allowed to do the same? If a waitress was Jewish, would it be ok for them to refuse to work between sunset on Friday and sunset on Saturday? Playing Devil’s advocate, if a Christian can be allowed to pick and choose the laws they want to obey based on their beliefs and the Bible then will people of other faiths be given the same leeway? Jewish? Pagans? Buddhists? Satanists? Muslims?  

Do I believe in God, the Christian faith? Yes. Do I think it is the better path and that everyone should? Yes, but so do 99% of the people in 99% of all other faiths, so I’m not that ‘special’. Do I support same sex marriage? Yes. Do I support same sex couples adopting? Yes. Do I think my religion, beliefs and opinions should be forced on anyone/everyone? No.

What's Wrong With People?

I know some people will disagree with me on this and for the record, I’m fine with it. I don’t watch reality TV and truthfully, I think reality shows have ruined TV in general, but that’s another tirade all together. Except for the constant media coverage, I wouldn’t know who any of these "reality stars" are.  For the most part it’s just average people who want their 15 minutes and go about doing outrageous things (probably staged) for attention. I usually ignore it and pray the world doesn’t think this represents the South any more than Jersey Shore represented folks from Jersey (I know a few folks from Jersey, believe me, it doesn’t). A while back, the world found out that the Honey Boo Boo Mom was dating a man who had molested her older daughter. The network pulled the show and no one defended her…how could they. She brought a known pedophile, one that had molested her own daughter, back into the home with her younger daughter.

Fast forward a couple of years and we find out that the oldest son of the Duggar clan molested – I’m sorry – inappropriately touched – 5 young girls when he was 14 years old. Four of his victims were his own sisters. I’m not going to rehash all of the details because it’s out there. Yes, TLC has pulled the show…great. However, unlike the Honey Boo Boo situation people are defending him and his parents for hiding it. Why? He said he was sorry and asked to be forgiven. Well, that’s makes everything ok doesn’t it. Never mind, he said he was sorry…no crime was committed, nothing to see here folks, move along. What a load of crap! By this standard, no matter what you’ve done, if you say you’re sorry and you ask for forgiveness, then there should be no punishment. Thief? Murderer? Rapist? Sure, why not, but only if you’re really sorry. Why not? Clearly it works for a child molester. Can he be forgiven by his victims? That’s up to them. Can he be forgiven by God? If he asks and in his heart he truly means it, yes absolutely. Should he be forgiven by the justice/legal system? Absolutely not. Come on people, it’s not like he smashed his Daddy’s car into a mailbox. He molested 5 girls –his younger sisters! Isn’t the first instinct for a parent to protect their children? To me, it looks like they were more concerned with protecting their son from being labeled what is was/is than protecting their young daughters from what could happen again. I don’t have older brothers, but I do have older cousins and I can’t imagine any of them doing this to any of us. I don’t have to imagine what they’d have done to anyone who had done this to me. The thing that disgusts me the most is that his parents virtually did nothing. Yes, they contacted law enforcement. Who did they turn to? A state trooper who is currently doing time for possessing child porn. I know for a fact that Mama & Pop would never have done what these parents did. 

Unfortunately there is a statute of limitations on child abuse/molestation, so nothing can be done legally. While Josh Duggar can’t actually be called a pedophile (apparently you can’t be considered as a pedophile until you’re 16), in my opinion, he’s still a pervert. He should have been arrested and prosecuted for his actions and his parents should have been considered accessories after the fact. I wonder if Mama & Papa Duggar would have hidden this if someone from outside their circle had molested their daughters. If the individual asked them (and the girls) for forgiveness would they have forgiven him? Probably. If he asked God to forgive him, would He? I believe so. Would they have not only let him go unpunished but protected him?  Doubt it…at least I hope not. 

Racial Equality?

I just read this on the Cosmopolitan Magazine site that Nick Cannon (a.k.a. Mr. Mariah Carey) is releasing a new album called ”White People Party Music” (“Nick Cannon Dressed Up in Whiteface” March 24, 2014 at 3:52PM by Eliza Thompson http://bit.ly/1hV9JPe) . To promote his new project he’s posted pictures and videos of himself in…ready for it…white face. That’s right, white face. What did Cosmo post? “Nick Cannon, who is apparently about to release an album called White People Party Music, decided the best way to promote said album is to dress up in whiteface. OK! Perhaps the best part of this whole thing is the series of hashtags Cannon used with his first post: #GoodCredit, #FarmersMarkets, and #CreamCheeseEating, to name a few. While it's true that many white people do love all of those things, I would argue that pretty much human who's ever tasted cream cheese, regardless of race, knows that it's the nectar of the breakfast gods.” Where’s the outrage? Where is the disgust? Can you imagine the backlash that would happen if the reverse happened?

Think back to Halloween when Julianne Hough was slammed by just about every one for wearing black face when she dressed as a fictional character. Back to Cosmo, what did they print/post; “So, um, this was a really shameful weekend, guys. First, photos emerged of Julianne Hough in blackface for Halloween. Context, not that it changes anything: She went as Crazy-Eyes from Orange is The New Black. Hough is best known for being on Dancing With The Stars and the former better half of asexual mammal Ryan Seacrest. Not that her credits matter. Even if you’re Meryl Streep, applying your intense form of Method acting to your costume on All Hallow’s Eve, there is still absolutely no way you are allowed to party-hop around Beverly Hills in blackface. (“So... This Weekend Was Embarassingly Racist. October 28, 2013 at 12:03PM by Anna Breslaw http://bit.ly/1lhMJPX)

So let me get this straight; a white actress puts on black face and dresses as a character and she’s “embarrassingly racist”, but a black singer/dancer/husband dons white face to promote a new album called White People Party Music – he’s doing it FOR MONEY – and not a single remark that would even border on calling is distasteful.

Personally, I find both to be stupid and offensive, but why is one seen as offensive and the other called PR? If dressing as someone of a different race is offensive, isn’t the same behavior as seen just as racist – if not more so – when done to make money?

Same Sex Marriage

With two cases in front of the Supreme Court, the debate over same sex marriage is on everyone’s mind & social media feeds. I don’t know if I’m the only person who feels this way or just the only one who’ll admit it but I’m torn.

Though not regular church-goers, I grew up in a Christian family. I know what the P.O.V. of the Christian faith is in regards to homosexuality – says flat out it’s an abomination. I’m no Biblical scholar but if memory serves, there are plenty of other things that are an abomination in the eyes of God, but if people “commit” them, aren’t they still allowed to marry? Actually, marrying the same person twice is an abomination (not to mention crazy). Did you know that eating pork (I’m sure you did) is on the list? By the way…so is shell fish.  Women wearing pants is also on the list…yep, that too (I’m toast). Liars are an abomination. Who reading this hasn’t told a lie? Does that mean a woman wearing pants, who has eaten shell fish and a man who eats pork & told a lie can get married…but 2 women or 2 men can’t?

The Bible also speaks against being “unequally yoked” believers & non-believers. Does that mean before a man & woman are given a marriage license they have to verify that they are either believers or non-believers? What about atheists? They’re an abomination. If marriage is under the umbrella of religion then a professed atheist shouldn’t be allowed to be married. If marriage is a religious union/ceremony, then I can’t imagine that an atheist would want it. It almost seems as if their civil rights are being violated by forcing them to take part in a religious ceremony…something that obviously goes against their beliefs or lack thereof.

To those who say one of, if not the primary, reason for marriage is to procreate; does that mean people who can’t have children shouldn’t be allowed to marry? What about people who don’t want children? What about people who shack up and then after several years & a couple of kids they decide to get married…what’s the point? Should we talk about the folks who shack up before they get married? Nah…because no one reading this has **ever** done that.

If the use of the marriage is what vexes same sex marriage opponents because marriage is a religious sacrament between a man & a woman, then maybe the government – federal, state, and county – should stop issuing “marriage licenses” (separation of church & state). Everyone will have civil unions or domestic partnerships that would give you the legal rights as a “married” couple; insurance benefits, end of life decisions, put the empty milk jug back in the fridge, change the direction of the toilet paper at will, etc., but would not have any religious ties. A couple can obtain the license for a civil union license / domestic partnership certificate, etc. and have the ceremony (for lack of a better term) performed by a justice of the peace and it’s recorded at the court house. If you want to have a religious ceremony in a church, temple or synagogue after that’s a personal choice.  This way, religion isn’t brought into it unless they want it to be.

That all sounds pro-same sex marriage doesn’t it? Then why did I say I’m torn? Here’s why. If this is goes forward will churches, pastors, priests or preachers be forced to perform weddings for same sex couples or face charges of civil rights violations? What about the rights of the church or minister to uphold their beliefs? Is it right, just or fair to force an individual or group to go against their faith or religious teachings in order to protect the rights of another? And before you get your knickers in a twist, I’m not talking about crazy “kill her because she showed her ankles”…I’m being logical. I’m talking about a Priest or an Assembly of God minister being legally required to perform a wedding ceremony for a same sex couple, even if it goes against their beliefs, or face legal ramifications. Will they be able to say, “Yes, you have the right to marry, but because it’s against my beliefs I can't perform the ceremony.”? Now, if they want to do it, more power to them. If the couple has a civil union license then there’s nothing stopping them from getting “married“ by a justice of the peace…just like any other couple who have no religious affiliation.

Folks on both sides of the issue need to understand; just because someone disagrees with what you believe is right doesn’t mean they hate you or they’re bigots it just means they think it’s wrong.  Yes, there is no shortage of bigots and there are people who hate homosexuals just because…that won’t change with a law or Supreme Court decision. You can’t legislate how someone feels, thinks or believes. You have the right to your opinion & the right to voice that opinion. What you don’t have the right to do (or shouldn’t) is be blatantly disrespectful to someone you disagree with. I mean really, if you can’t think of a better counter point than “you’re an idiot” then you really need to keep that to yourself because you’re not helping your position at all and you’re one mouse click away from “I know you are but what am I?”

Supporters of SSM; if the decision is in favor of SSM, please know that not everyone is going to jump for joy, but that doesn’t mean that everyone who opposes SSM hates you. All cars have wheels but not everything with wheels is a car. Opponents of SSM; if your opposition is based in your faith and that this is just one more thing that slides us down the slippery slope, if you’re worried about their soul and then do what people of faith do; pray. If your opposition is just because you hate gay people then I’ve got nothing for you. Just find a hole to crawl into & leave the rest of us alone.

Bullying

I can’t get over the fact that via Twitter “The Talk” (a CBS talk show) brought up the topic of suing a bully? That makes NO SENSE! You know what that teaches the kids involved? You solve problems with lawyers & if you do something wrong you can pretty much just pay someone damages & move on to the next. Have I ever been bullied? A little in the 1st grade; I cried all the time because all I wanted to do was go home & watch Days of Our Lives with my Granny & kids being kids, picked on & made fun of me.  One day this kid was really coming at me hard & I was just standing there crying… I had a friend who stood up for me but he wasn’t there so except for the kid teasing me & his buddies, I was by myself. Then he poked me…the little snot poked me! Next thing I knew I’d tackled him & was just swinging away like a crazy woman! The PE teacher pulled me off & asked what happened so I told her. That was the last time I got picked on or bullied.

But my sister (actually my cousin but we’re waaay more like sisters), that’s another story. We were both fat kids – sorry the PC term is overweight – and she got it bad! Fourth grade was the worst; she’d tell the teacher and because she didn’t see anything there was nothing she could/would do. I got involved in it & had a few rounds taking care of her, but they persisted. Mama & my aunt talked to the teacher & principal & he said the same thing. Forget the fact that she had bruises from being pinched, kicked, hit & even bitten there was nothing they could do. My Mama – being the Southern Spitfire she is, told my cousin in front of the teacher AND the principal that the next time a kid put their hands, feet or mouth on her she was to “knock home sweet hell out of them”. Needless to say Mr. Cain & Ms. Dudley were appalled. The next time a kid pinched a plug out of her arm, she did just what Mama told her…and for the most part, that put an end to it.

Kids today aren’t being taught to defend themselves. Should the first step be to tell a teacher/parent? Absolutely, no question. But teach them to stand up for themselves so that if they’re alone they feel strong enough to protect themselves and if necessary, someone else. I promise you – and I speak from personal experience, if you’re concerned about your child’s self-esteem this will go a long way to strengthen their self-esteem.  When we teach children, “Don’t stand up and don’t fight back…” we end up with a society of adults with the “poor, poor pitiful me” mindset who believe everyone should fight their battles for them.

Make no mistake; bullying is a problem now and it has always been a problem. Mama & my uncle were teased & bullied for being redheads with freckles, Sis caught it for being overweight & shy and unfortunately, as long as kids are different from each other & as long as there are cliques, there’s going to be teasing & bullying. The net and things like Facebook & Twitter have made it worse because now you don’t even have to be in the same room, school or even city.

My Granny always told us that fighting wasn’t right but if you had to defend yourself go ahead. Her #1 rule; no matter what fight fair…but when someone hits you that ain’t fair. The bottom line (in my opinion anyway) is that parents need to teach their kids respect; respect others enough NOT to bully & tease someone and respect themselves enough not to put up with it.

Saving Soaps

I can’t decide if this is a blog or a big ‘ole thank you/love note to Ken Corday, Marlene Clark Poulter, Darrell Ray Thomas, Jr, Frank Valentini and Ron Carlivati but either way here I go.

I’ve grown up watching soaps; Mama & Granny watched the first episode of Days of Our Lives & my older cousin was so completely swept up in the romance & adventure of Luke & Laura that she just knew I was going to grow up to look just like Genie Francis (FYI: I didn’t). One by one I watched as my soaps like The Doctors, Another World & Santa Barbara were cancelled, but I never thought I see the day when soaps were in danger of being a thing of the past. When I heard that All My Children and One Life To Live were being cancelled, I was in shock. I never watch them but I knew how the fans felt and as a fan of the genre my heart broke.

I shouldn’t have been surprised though. I can't speak to AMC or OLTL, but both of the soaps I watch had become so predictable. The dialog was stale and the storylines had become boring enough that I’d fast forward through chunks of it. The heroes barely caught my eye and only true villains like Stefano & Helena kept my attention. There are certain actors I love and no matter what the storyline, I’m going to stop what I’m doing and watch. I’d unhappily settled into the realization that Days & GH had become background noise to have on while I was getting ready for work or eating lunch.

I’d pretty much decided to give up on GH. With less than 20 yrs., I didn’t have as much time invested. There were characters/actors I’d miss but I was getting fed up; too much mob & not enough of…well, anything else. It seemed everything & everyone had a mob connection. Yes, I know the mob has been a factor in Port Charles for a long time but it was “A” factor not “THE” factor. Then there was the whole James Franco thing. It was intriguing at first, thing sent me right over the edge. There was a rumor of a new Cassadine story…they even laid the groundwork with Helena’s conversations with Nicholas and Luke rescuing her, but pushed it aside in favor of the Franco “story”. The show was on a slow painful decent into Hell.

Even though I had all but given up on GH, as a 3rd generation fan, I never imagined I'd be willing to let go of Days...until it happened. What was the final straw? The death of Francis Reid and the character she’d played for more than 40 years Alice Horton. It was treated as merely another way to move from one plot to another. At least I felt that way. Where were the flashbacks? The beautiful memory filled funeral? The former cast members coming back to pay their respects like when Mickey died? There was some but not nearly what I – and other fans – felt due. After a lifetime of watching Days of Our Lives, I was seriously considering giving up.

I don’t know if it was low ratings, fan complaints, the cancellation of two of most beloved & recognized soaps in history or a combination of the three, but something shook the networks. New producers and writers were brought on board to Days & GH and boy did they make changes!! Both took a Back to the Future approach. They brought back fan favorites -- something that had been done before and wasted (the blatant misuse of Louise Sorrell on Days still sickens me) but this time it felt like the new teams were serious about saving their respective soaps. The writing is strong. The constant repeating of dialog to fill time…I mean…to catch people up…was gone. Plot twists and cliffhangers…real cliffhangers …were back. I kid you not, even a few daily cliffhangers! More than once in the last few months I’ve caught myself happily saying “I didn’t see that coming!”

Some characters were eliminated and new characters were brought on that actually moved the story. There are some characters & actors that I’ll miss, Nathan Parsons & Bren Foster come to mind. There was a lot of potential (can you just imagine the sparks between Bren Foster & Lisa Rinna) but the way their exit was written they can be brought back & hopefully will be. Kimberly McCullough wanted to leave but in true soap fashion, even though we all sat and sobbed through the funeral, the door is open.

The new writers & producers are respecting and using the history of the shows instead of ignoring it. Instead of changing characters (sometimes not even that) and recycling a recent story, they're telling fresh ones, and they're not dragging them out. A storyline that even last year would have ran at best 6 or 8 months is being played out in half that time! All of that being said, I’m still reserving judgment; we’ve seen changes & updates before but after a few months they fall back into the same craptastic patterns so I’m not going to get crazy excited. But as a fan of these two soaps and the genre in general, I really hope these changes “take”. As silly as it may sound to some, I can’t, and don’t want to, imagine life without soaps.

Electrifying End to 2011

In case anyone was wondering why I’ve been AWOL the last several days here’s the reason. Remember my complaining about the cable? There was an issue with the cable & it was fixed, but our problem had very little to do with the cable. The neighbor’s tree has been rubbing on the electrical line and shorted out the neutral wire & it arched. When that happened, it...I can’t remember the technical term but it caused the grounding wire to spazz &the jolt was so strong that it shook it loose from the cable AND power box and melted it to all the other wires around it. Well, not all of the wires…one of them exploded.  We didn’t know this because it was dark. Not just dark but can-barely-see-your-hand dark. When the meltdown happened, the lights in the house got runway bright then went out accompanied by various sounds of crackling, popping and snapping then went out. When it came back on it was less than half power but strong enough for us to see the smoke coming from the VCR and then the TV (Granny had gotten that for Mama & Pop for their anniversary in ’91).

As luck would have it, our neighbor (not the one with the offending tree) James’ son-in-law is an electrician. God bless Hymie, he came over to a stranger’s house at 8:30 PM and spent an hour trying to fix it and told us he was 99% sure it was the neutral wire at the pole & to call the electric company in the AM. Then he spent another hour & a half making sure the house was safe. So we pretty much camped in the house. For the record, I don’t like extreme quiet and at 38 yrs old I’m scared of the dark…it was both quiet and dark.

When the electric company came out the next morning and confirmed that yes, it was the neutral wire & they fixed it. Comcast came out & fixed their box & the guy from Comcast said he’d seen this before but the house had caught fire & the fella from Gulf Power was amazed that the house didn’t burn down.

Aside from the TV & VCR in the living room, my desktop computer, VCR/DVD player & stereo, the exhaust fan in the kitchen, and the radio in the bathroom were lost. The refrigerator was injured…did ya’ll know they put motherboards (that’s what the tech compared it to) in refrigerators? Me neither. Well ours took a hit and thankfully it’s about half what we thought it was going to cost.

Now, before you think the whole thing was awful, think again…remember, this is me you’re dealing with. There have been several times when we, no joke, fell out laughing. For instance, when Hymie and Pop were checking to see if there was any power in the house; they kept flipping breakers, plugging and unplugging everything in sight only to discover they hadn’t turned the power back on at the main box. Or when Pop was checking out his computer and was getting no signal to the monitor, he was sure it was lost, then decided it was the monitor…and realized he hadn’t reconnected the monitor to the computer after checking my old computer.

This all started Wednesday night and for the most part, it’s over. The fridge won’t be fixed until maybe Tuesday, but probably Wednesday. My computer wasn’t exactly great…it was about 8 years old and a transformer blew outside 3 years ago & it hadn’t been the same since (I’m pretty much all laptop now). Pop had wanted a big TV for when they room is finished so he’s playing with his new toy – a 55 inch TV. A perk; the sensor on my TV stopped working a few months ago so no remote control would work at all but it seems the power jolt fixed it. All in all, considering the house could have burned down, things turned out pretty good.